Blumenthal Blues

Recently, my attention has been drawn to the release of Heston Blumenthal's high-tech range of 'Sage' kitchen appliances, in stock at John Lewis and Lakeland (peruse here at Lakeland). Clearly, as a student, I can only dream of any of these products ever belonging to a kitchen of mine, the least bank-bashing item being a 'Multi-cooker' at £99.99 and the most being a 'Barista Express' at £549.99. Imagining for a moment though, that I was oddly, a very a rich student; would I choose to spend countless hundreds on such culinary gadgetry? After repressing my egoistic visions of the Roux-standard patisserie suddenly within my grasp thanks to the magically transformative powers of Blumenthal's devices, I have decided perhaps not. Why?

 I'm all for an electric whisk, a spice-grinder and even a commercial standard onion-chopper (as owned by my curry-making father) to reduce the sweat and tears element of cooking but I think that the introduction of all this extra apparatus takes something of the enjoyment out of cooking. Is there not something to be said for the timeless immediacy of a pestle and mortar and the pleasure it gives (alongside the pain) when crushing woody herbs or pungent spices, releasing more aroma with each grind of the pestle and colouring it's stone surface so brightly? Or the love imbued with the effort of whisking eggs by hand for the cake of a friend or family member? Perhaps it is youth speaking, for with age I might weary and be contented to sit back and let a machine of six pre-set cooking functions turn out a perfect risotto before my eyes. Currently though, I take rather a lot of pleasure in stirring my own risotto affectionately over the stove. 

I also like to cook simply, and thus far have not acquired the knowledge or skill to do otherwise. This eliminates all need for fancy contraptions, and I fear I would not know what to do with them even if they were to be at my disposal. Take, for example, the microwave, which I rarely use and when I do, blindly push all of the buttons at once and hope that whatever went in comes out still intact. That one cannot see the cooking actually happening with this sort of technology unnerves me yet also bores me. What fascinates me about cooking is the process rather than the end product; I like to be able to watch and taste as a dish develops. I like to feel the satisfaction of having physically made something, rather than just constructed it like some kind of edible Ikea assembly kit. In fact, I would summarise my feelings by saying that although very clever, very stylish and extremely useful, the 'Sage' range is just far too professional for me. Particularly, the £399.99 'Scrape-mixer Pro' which is so efficient at cleaving cake mix from the sides of it's bowl that it would leave none for me afterwards.